#when you're an 8 but you like cats
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here-there-were-dragons · 5 months ago
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i have to wonder what super hardcore militant vegans think should be done about obligate carnivore animals, because in all my painfully-rapidly-approaching-30-years i've literally never actually seen anyone give a clear consistent much less halfway feasible answer on that
#mostly i've just seen like “how dare you ask questions you just want an excuse to murder you're sealioning ect”#or worse some vague and wildly improbable nonsense about like. fake robot animals covered in beyond meat or something equally convoluted#which is a thing i did see someone suggest as a serious answer#i mean i already know they think i'm a genetically inferior hateful vampire that should starve to death for the greater good#because my exact combination of health conditions make meat basically the only semi-safe way i can get close to enough nutrients#i know this because they have repeatedly told me that i'm either evil or should be sacrificed or both#and yelled at me for asking questions by bringing up the whole disabled thing and then they're like#“a lot of vegans i know are advocates for disability!” as if that ever means jack shit in the society that results from anything#no matter what you do a vast majority of people in any given society will *not* be advocates for the disabled. i'm sorry they just won't.#and what do you think public perception of people who physically can't survive like that is going to skew towards#in a society founded on the belief that non-vegan diets are evil?#at absolute best we're looking at being a heavily marginalized class generally seen as something like vampires and our existences taboo.#(as if these type's own insistence that they should be allowed to harass and shame people doesn't disprove their assertion that we won't be#thinking it could possibly go any better than that is a fucking fairy tale. human nature doesn't work that way.#you simply cannot eliminate the human desire to designate and abuse a class of have-nots. the absolute best you can do is mitigate damage.#take it from someone who's been multiple kinds of disabled and chronically ill all my life. people will not “just”. ever.#i get this even from people who are otherwise very aware of and VERY GOOD at avoiding this sort of thinking#“i'm a disability advocate!” no you are not. you are a poster. my experience has taught me that what people advocate for in their free time#means precisely jack shit for how they will actually act when faced with the situations they make otherwise rational posts about#and the fact of the matter is even if you somehow really are the perfect disability advocate a majority of people WILL NOT BE YOU.#a majority of people in society will be margrat from accounting who clutches her pearls when she sees the gays and thinks autism isnt real#and who has never had a nuanced thought in her life and actively does not want to#a vast majority of people in your Vegan Utopia will not be you and your friends who march with wheelchair users and volunteer at the shelte#a vast majority of people in your Vegan Utopia will be jenny who starved 8 cats to death on broccoli because she can't be bothered#and who thinks that “carnivores” are actual nazis and don't deserve healthcare because she saw someone say that online.#ALWAYS assume your society will be made up mostly of the worst kind of person it can because it WILL ALWAYS BE TRUE and you can't change it#most people seek the low-effort option. and evil is most often banal and low-effort.#i'm just so fucking tired of every single even vaguely lefty-adjacent political movement simultaneously acting like i don't fucking exist#and at the same time that i need to be sacrificed to achieve Utopia. god. at least conservative whackjobs are upfront and honest about#how they think that i'm a burden on society that needs to be Eugenics'd . rather than trying to morally gaslight me about it.
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r2y9s-notartblog · 7 months ago
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evening/night boop! (how are you doing?)
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morning boop! (i've lost track of the time whoops!)
I'm doing well! have a cat butt!
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fadedflora · 1 year ago
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i'm sure no ones shocked to find out i am yet again downloading more sims 3 cc
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erabundus · 2 years ago
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whenever someone has the NERVE to touch him, he has to fight the impulse to sink his teeth into their hand. one day, he won't catch it in time! perhaps it will even be on PURPOSE.
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keitheaverage · 2 years ago
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my personal rule of thumb is that (typically) if a video essay is longer to watch than the media that it is analyzing, it's not one you're gonna get a lot out of, neither in terms of information nor entertainment. something to have on in the background if that's what you need to sit down and work maybe, but if you're there to get a solid thesis or concise recap of the media in question, 😬.
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phantomrose96 · 6 months ago
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Okay I have a story.
So my birthday is this Sunday (May 26th). My mom ordered some presents for me but one of them (an Etsy purchase) was seemingly stuck in transit and might not make it on time. I tell my mom all good, no worries. She gets in contact with the seller. After a long delay in response they get back with "Right we'll fix it!" It ships, tracking label and everything, good to go! ETA May 22nd (yesterday.)
During the work day I check the tracking and it says it's been delivered in/at mailbox! I double check with my mom "hey, is it mailbox size?" because if not, I don't want it sitting at the front door where anyone walking by could snag it.
She says "it's definitely NOT mailbox size." Okay. I text my neighbors in the building "Anyone seen a package delivered? It's a birthday gift from my mom and I wanna make sure it gets inside!" Success! Floor 2 David (not to be confused with Floor 1 David) had brought it inside. Inform my mom. All good!
I stop by home briefly around 4pm, because yesterday was hot-hot and I just installed my window A/C that morning in the living room, and according to my cat cam my stupid cat hasn't spent a single second in the climate controlled living room and is, instead, voluntarily baking herself elsewhere so I'm like "great" and hop on my bike to go home (10 minute ride) to check on her.
I get in the building door. Patches is crying from the top floor because she heard me. I maneuver my bike in the front hall. The ugliest fucking 6-foot-tall cat tree(?)/totem(?)/statue(?) I've seen in my entire life is just. Standing there.
My first thought is "What the fuck is that." My second thought is "Oh fuck that is for me." I look around at the floor in case there's perhaps anything else that might, in fact, be the gift.
No. Me and Cat Pole.
It's taller than me. I turn it around to face me and its face is painted and this is, in fact, uglier than it looked from the back.
Um.
Patches is crying. So I just haul it up to my level. MAYBE it was supposed to come with twine that I wrap around it (and hide its face from the world) for Patches to scratch. Maybe this is a prank. Maybe this is an inside joke, because when my mom moved into her current house the neighborhood gifted her some ugly-as-hell totem that apparently, by tradition, each newest-comer to the neighborhood is required to have and display in their window so maybe this is a very good riff on that.
Patches rubs against it. She's not afraid of this horrid facsimile of her kind.
Great.
Meanwhile SHE'S fine and the condo is a little toasty but totally liveable so I'm like "Good, cool, you're not baking. You're having a good time. Enjoy your new sister, I guess, I'll see you later."
I go back to work because this is a problem for later me.
After work, after my run, after whatever, I get home and it's like 8:00pm and Patches is so happy to see me and the totem pole is still just. There.
I text my friends like "so a bday gift is here from my mom and it's the Biggest Ugliest cat pole I've seen in my life. Is this a bit? Did my mom go 'that's so ugly haha! send!' Maybe she genuinely found it cute. How do I navigate this." My friend Sarah has the good advice to maybe text my mom neutrally like "Got the cat pole!" and feel the waters whether my mom is like "Isn't it ugly? 😂" or "Hope Patches likes it! 🥰"
My mom goes to bed early so I don't do any of that yet. Problem for tomorrow me.
This morning, Patches wakes me up for breakfast. I get her situated and I'm staring at the fucking Cat Pole again. I wonder if my Mom's been wondering all night what I thought of it.
I take a picture. I text her.
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Okay.
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I get on call with my mom. I ask for clarity that the ungodly horrid thing is NOT my birthday gift and is in fact a mix-up from the seller who sent me this instead of my actual gift. She's wheezing between words. She thinks I'm being too charitable for the amount of Absolute Fucking Ugly this is. I have to gently talk her out of using the word "monstrosity" while messaging the seller asking what the hell happened here.
I tell her I need to apologize for harming her dignity with Floor 2 David, who thinks this fucking thing is my mom's idea of a great birthday gift for her to-be-28-year-old daughter.
My heart goes out to the poor soul who did actually order this cat totem and is lacking it on this lovely day.
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keeps-ache · 3 months ago
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ooo that's minty babyyy
#just me hi#almost wrote 'babuuu' up there loll#anywho i got gum yesterday cuz i'm tryna stop chewing on my. everything hkfsh#lips + cheeks + finger skin. i don't like cuts v-v#i got miiiiiiiiint because they didn't have waaaaaaatermelon hbfsh :)#it's not so burny but i do still wish i had watermelon... ou....#//i wanna do something rn but i don't. know. wghat#pi.e is always welcome but i wanna work on bl.s but i'm also having my siblings play through a story that i have Stuck in my brain so hkfsh#i didn't think i'd get so Brained abt this one. and because i had them play it before i had an actual plot ready(just had basic world stuff#i can't think of this going any other way hbfshv - lotta fun interesting and weird things have happened that simply cannot be reproduced#/hang on my oven food must be turned lol#okey :3#/like the spy they ran into - idk if i've ever talked abt it lol but m gonna do so now hbfsjv#so they - my brothers whose names are fry and leo in this story. fry is an 8 yo tabby-cat sparrow and leo is the cat-dog-rat thing Shock :)#- anywho they're with the character Teddy and the three of them were going to head to the Crow Fortress to. fight them i guess lol ?? there#wasn't a like. real plan jfhsjv#so they're on their way out from the shore village-turned-fortress called Shimmery Shore and they run into a cloaked figure like a couple#miles off going towards Shimmery Shore (where fry's mother runs the fortress as general) and they start debating each other#fry goes 'wait what if this is a spy??' leo 'i dunno. we're going somewhere. so.' 'but if it's a spy??' 'well what are you going to do abou#it???' so fry asks the stranger 'are you.. a Spy [eyebrow raise]?' the stranger obviously says 'no!! what are you talking about???'#'that's exactly what a spy would say!' 'i'm sure a spy would also be saying the same thing! YOU'RE spies aren't you? this is all greatly#suspicious !!'#and the argument quickly came to the stranger pulling a sword and saying 'i'm going to pass now and you're not going to stop me' and the#group p much just put up their hands and went 'okay yeah sure man' and let them pass lol#the Squad argued abt it for like a couple minutes and then forgot about it shortly#anyway Shimmery Shore later fell to the Crows and it was due to some sort of slow collapse of their internal structures. and when they hear#that the two of them slowly looked at each other. and then started laughing kjhfsjgjhsv#anyway yea i do a lot of thinkin for this one on the fly. lotta stuff going on hbghfs#i'm bad at remembering finer details but at least i can keep my world here together lol :3#//ouh i've run out of tags.. okay m gonna eat my food n then do something hfh :) tooooodles !!
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starry-bi-sky · 2 months ago
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FUNNIEST fucking shit that comes with making Danny eleven years old when he had his accident in "late at night, when the nightingale sings" is the implication following, that everything that happened in the show did too. And I fully intend on (mostly) keeping it like that. There'll be some changes (of which I need to figure out) but for the most part??? Yeah relatively the same.
Like I FULLY intend on keeping Dark Danny occurring 6 months post accident. Do you know how fucking HILARIOUS that is??? That Dan got his ass kicked by a goddamn FIFTH-SIXTH GRADER?? I'd never show my face ever again. Homeboy spent the last ten years being a one-man mass extinction event, only to get his ass beat by a kid who hasn't even lost his last baby tooth. That's hysterical. I'm losing my mind just thinking about it.
AND PARIAH DARK TOO. Imagine being an eons old tyrant capable of dragging whole towns down into your dimension, and you get singehandedly shoved back into your coffin in less than 48 hours by a kid whose bedtime is still 8:30. You didn't even have the time to expand your army! You were still trying to take over the city the kid came from!
And he just!!! Shoves you back in!! Insane! This kid hasn't even been dead for a full year yet! He's still growing in his ghost fangs! And he just knocked you flat on your ass in an oversized mech suit. What the fuck! It's like looking down and seeing a four week old kitten meowing very indignantly at you and trying to bite your feet, except that kitten is also actually a black-footed cat and they have a 60% kill success rate, and oops! Now you're dead. You took too long laughing at the kitten trying to attack you that it clawed up your pant leg and ripped out your throat.
COULD I, realistically, span these episodes out over the course of 2.5 years prior to Danny's family dying?? Yes I could! Do I think it's hilarious (and horribly traumatizing, which makes it twice as fun) to shove all of this into the span of (roughly) a year instead?? Yes. Because the show has such a skewed timeline that I've always just assumed that at the end of the show, Danny was starting his sophomore year in high school. So fuck it, lets go for it!
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f1amour · 2 months ago
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✧˚ · . make me juno
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pairing | max verstappen x popstar!reader
word count | 2.3k
content warnings | some social media au, established relationship, smitten max, light dom!max, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, multiple orgasms, fingering, brief choking kink, praise kink, squirting, HEAVY BREEDING KINK, cock warming, teasing, unprotected sex — 18+ only, minors do not interact
authors note | happy belated birthday to max #1 certified cat lover <3
navigation. | requests — open | main masterlist.
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yourusername juno out now available to download and stream! happy birthday baby 💋🤍
tagged — maxverstappen
comments below…
user1 MAX MUSIC VIDEO DEBUT
user2 begged for a cameo from max and we got a whole ass film 🧎‍♀️
yourusername my man is too hot for only a small cameo. made sure to showcase his actor side>>>
landonorris i did NOT have to watch an 8 minute film of you and max being horny. disgusting.
yourusername the first minute of the video was horny you could have exited but you watched the whole thing. our biggest fan 🥹🫶🏼
landonorris fuck off
maxverstappen1 wanna say that again?
landonorris 🏃‍♂️💨
user3 max trying to be serious through the video but breaks into a smile anytime y/n would sing to him 😭
user4 they just broke the internet with this video
user5 never thought i would see max and y/n horny on main in 2024
user6 did you guys not listen to her latest album? girl gave us a whole ass ovulation album. GIVE HER A BABY MAX!
maxverstappen1 i’m trying
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being with max for five years now you’d grown used to knowing his likes and dislikes; both in & out of bed.
especially in bed.
“have you always been this keen on having kids? even before me?” you manage to spit out while sitting on max’s lap, his lips prepping kisses all over your neck and chest.
you had just spent the day celebrating his birthday on a yacht with all of yours and max’s close friends and family so he had been extra needy arriving home since he couldn’t have his way with you all day with everyone surrounding both of you.
his lips detach from your neck looking you in the eyes full of love, “i’ll remind you any chance i get when it comes to that, you are the reason i want a family. the reason i see myself being your husband and father of our children before you i never saw that with anyone else.” max would take any chance to remind you how ready he was to be your husband and have kids with you.
“i don’t want to wait anymore. not for the wedding or the babies…i want it now.” you whisper desperately clinging onto max. his eyes widen at your statement, “now?”
“we’ll have the wedding after the baby is born. we can go to to the courthouse this week and make it official just us two. don’t you want that, maxie?” sitting on his lap grinding against his hardened cock make it even more difficult for him to say the words.
“yes…fuck yes of course, baby. i don’t want to wait any longer to have you as my wife. gonna fuck you so full of my cum tonight and make you a mommy. god i can’t wait any longer.” his hands cupping your face and pulling you into a hungry and messy kiss. both of you quickly removing your clothes off each other desperately needing to feel as close as possible.
you start getting on your knees but max pulls you back up, “as much as i want you on your knees stuffed with my cock in your mouth, i need to taste you.” his words immediately taking affect on your core.
“b-but it’s your birthday…w-w-wanna gi—.” your words stutter out, after placing you on the bed hovering over you his lips meet your neck down to your stomach before he situates himself between your thighs.
“getting to taste you is the best gift i could ever get.” your legs squeeze his head, thighs keeping him close to your pussy as he licks, laps, and sucks until you're close to the edge.
"’m so close, max, so close," you feel like you're in a trance as his fingers hook inside of you brushing your g-spot. he presses his palm into your lower tummy, applying gentle pressure as you nearly thrash under him from how intense the buildup is.
"cum for me, baby. make a mess all over my face," he growls before you feel yourself snapping as your orgasm flows through you. max rides you through the orgasm, tongue lapping at your core as your legs are left shaking.
“max…” you gasp out of breath as cleans you with his tongue, your fingers slowly caressing his hair. he
"you are so perfect, baby." he cooes, thumb resting on your lip as you part your mouth and bite down on it. you feel him stiffen under you, "ik hou van je. (i fucking love you)" he groans under his breath as you wrap your lips around his thumb.
"my fingers look so good shoved in your mouth," he purrs, hearing you whimper as he massages your pelvis. you can feel yourself growing wetter, the heaviness in your mouth feels comfortable before his lips are on yours.
"shit," he hisses, "i’m done waiting…i’ll take my time with you later.”
he doesn't give you a chance to speak before he's fisting his cock, lining up with your entrance, and pushing in "fuck, fuck," his voice is low and raspy, the feeling of him sinking into you, whispering out a various dutch words as he sinks deeper and deeper into you.
"this," he thrusts, slamming the headboard against the wall,"is what l've been fuckin' cravin. can’t wait to see you round and full." his thrusts are deep and slow before he can't hold back and he's fucking you into the mattress, loud moans and skin slapping are the only sounds filling the room.
your walls flutter around his cock and you're coming for the second time that night, "gonna have you cum a few more times, baby. keeping us up all night and make sure i get you pregnant." he snaps, bed in shambles as it creaks and squeaks before his own thrusts are growing sloppy.
"gonna fill you up," he moans, "fuck, you're gonna be so fuckin' stuffed. looking so perfect carrying our babies." his breathing is laboured, chasing his release before it hits him and he’s spilling inside you.
you stay close together for a brief moment before you both are desperate for another round, trying to rock your hips because he's still hard inside of you, "max…," you plead. "need more. please, please, please.”
he chuckles deeply at your desperation, "yeah?" he switches your positions, flipping over, lying on his back as you're straddling him and you fall into his chest because he’s impossibly deep, you were sure you’d come right there once again just from that position
you rock your hips, steadying yourself over his chest as he groans, "that's my good girl, you feel so fucking good like this. my soon to be wife. mother of our babies. i love you.” he’s lost himself in you, unable to form a coherent sentence as you lose yourself in the feeling of riding him like never before.
his sweet words and whines coming from his mouth have you quicken your movements, "you feel so good, max," you mumble, "all yours, baby. i’m all yours," he groans, digging his fingers into your skin as he meets your thrusts.
“how you doing, baby? you okay?” despite being deep inside you he slows down checking on you. he was starting to feel the exhaustion catch up to him but he was still hard as a fucking rock with your cunt clenching around him.
you nod giving him a smile, “m’ okay…getting sleepy,” you mumble out before pulling him closer to you (if that was even possible), “fill me up one more time, maxie. then we take a nap…and go again.”
despite being completely exhausted from the hours of fucking you wanted max to ensure you were pregnant by the end of the break. you were ready to become his wife and now have his babies as soon as possible.
his thrusts are deep and slow while you two conversed until your last sentence he can't hold back and he is fucking you senselessly now giving deep and rough thrusts, your moans filling the room chanting his name.
"come on, baby. cum 'round my cock, yeah…fuck," he hisses when you wrap your legs around his waist, locking him inside of you as he comes inside you once again.
catching your breaths you lay on top of him now, his cock buried inside you, “can’t believe we’ve been awake all night.” you chuckle against his chest while his hand plays with your hair.
“i have a month of uninterrupted free time with you and i’m gonna take advantage of that.” max kisses your head and you close your eyes getting comfortable in his arms.
“remember when we first met?” you ask him, knowing he’d go on a yap session about it. he would talk about it to anyone who asked and you loved him so much for knowing the small things just from the first moment you met.
“do i remember? how could i forget when you assumed i was a mechanic instead of the driver? oh and your perfect smile—.”
2018
meeting at the united states gp in austin the year of 2018 you were just 19 years old on your first world tour of your singing career. you had a concert on the first day of the race weekend so you met a few of the drivers and you tried your best to remember their names but there was so many.
max had been watching your performance with a huge smile on his face, he was in a meeting causing him to miss the introductions most of the drivers had with you. but here he was waiting for you at the side of the stage to introduce himself. he had grown to be a fan the last few months and when he found out you’d be performing at the austin gp he was counting down the days.
“hi i’m max…i’m with redbull—.”
you had gotten off stage ecstatic with the crowd cheering you on to be meet with a slightly taller guy dressed in some jeans and a white jacket paired with a redbull hat. the redbull hat made you assume he was a mechanic for the team so you cut him off, “oh nice to meet you! i’m y/n, how is it like working on the cars for redbull? you’re a mechanic right?”
max was confused at the question many things did not make sense when you asked but he assumed you didn’t know much of the sport (which was very true). he decided to go alone with it appreciating the chance to speak with you just for a few minutes before you were pulled away again for some interviews.
few weeks later he got your number from lewis who had been a mentor in your life for awhile now being in the limelight at a young age he took you under his wing. after checking with you first he gave max your number sending you a text and getting his full name you search him up on instagram realizing he wasn’t a mechanic but a goddamn driver for redbull racing.
lewis couldn’t help but laugh at your cluelessness when it came to the sport only sending him messages if he won not caring for any other drivers; until now.
after many apologies through the phone and max waving it off as something to laugh about. you grew a close friendship with him for the next year waiting patiently for him to ask you out.
PRESENT
“i had to wait a year before i got the balls to ask you out and then—oh.” he chuckles stopping mid sentence looking down at you realizing you had fallen asleep. he gives your head a kiss and falls into some much needed sleep alongside you.
you had woken up a few minutes ago with your back against max’s chest settling between his thighs. he had been playing with you hair until his hands started wandering down your body, “max…” you sigh contently feeling his finger play with your clit.
when two fingers slip through your folds, an obscene moan runs through you before they're filling you up. "that's my good girl, look at how well you're taking my fingers," he cooes, fingers curled deep inside you.
"that feels good, doesn't it, baby?" he taunts, you nodded your head, eager to feel his fingers moving some more as you rocked your hips in sync.
the pressure building up made you squirm, max was edging you and now you were nearly in tears, “oh…oh god,” whispering as you beg him to let you cum.
"that's it, my pretty girl," he hummed, “love hearing your moans, love feeling you cum, baby. squeezing my fingers with your tight pussy. gonna have your pussy squeezing my cock after this.”
"fuck," max groans, your orgasm gushes out of you; soaking his hand and bed sheets. you pant trying to catch your breath, "think we need to get ready for the day...we can't stay in bed forever. i wanna take you to a cat cafe--."
"just one more for me, schatje, one more and then we go to all the cat cafes we want," he smiles sweetly, kissing your neck finding your sweet spot and getting a moan out of you. how could you deny him?
pulling you in for a passionate kiss he flips you around and looks you in the eyes filled with lust, "wanna try another position?" he mumbles against your lips and you nod, not having to tell him the one you wanna try because he knows it's your favorite.
with your face pressed into the bedsheets and ass up in the air he gives you a soft slap before sliding his cock deep inside your aching cunt, "fucking christ...shit," he groans with each deep thrust your walls squeeze him.
"not gonna last, max..." you whine, your hands grip the sheets as he gives you a rough slap on your ass, "me neither, baby. you gonna cum with me? come on, schat. gonna fill your tight pussy with my cum and make you mine forever." his thrusts growing faster and sloppier, but his words have you pushing back against him meeting his hips.
"yes, yes, yes...wanna have your baby please fill me up, maxie," he pushes you up against his chest his hand wrapping around your throat squeezing it lightly. it was more than enough for you to ride out yet another orgasm, "that's it, baby. make a mess all over my cock." he groans feeling your walls flutter around him, with a few more thrusts his cum fills you up.
your heavy pants fill the room, feeling him pull out of you after a few minutes making sure each drop of his cum filled you up he flips you over laying you down and grabbing a warm towel to clean you up, "doing okay, my darling?" he smiles down at your loopy grin.
"so good. i love you." you tell him once he finishes cleaning you up and settling in bed for a few minutes before you go and shower. "i love you more. best birthday ever." max tells you, and he meant it being the best birthday especially if you do end up pregnant.
you run your fingers along his jaw, "think you made me juno yet?" you smile sheepishly at him and you both break out into a fit of laughter, "well if that didn't, we'll just have to keep on going until you are."
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petrodragonicapocalypse · 2 months ago
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middle aged men workplace simulator
coworker 1: i can't believe you haven't watched the classic 1978 film Dr Chimp And The Chunglefucks
coworker 2: does anyone remember that hot blonde news reporter from 2004
coworker 3: guys i'm honestly not sure if i can salvage my marriage
coworker 4: 🎵 red red wiiine 🍷stay close to meee🎵
coworker 5: [ebay link to a 90s arcade machine] do you remember how we used to run
coworker 6: what do you mean you haven't watched that classic 80s film about [most racist premise you've ever heard in your life]
coworker 7: [extremely longwinded anecdote you've already heard twice before]
coworker 8: HA... you think your job is bad? one time a customer chased me with a knife
coworker 9: oh shut up mate that was just a vegetable peeler
coworker 10: PTA meeting tomorrow 😬
coworker 11: jeremy my love let's leave our wives and run away together just like we've always dreamed
coworker 12: fuck off simon i know you just want me for my body
coworker 13: kids these days and their iPads... when i was a youngster me and my friends used to shoot each other. yeah with guns
coworker 7: [extremely longwinded anecdote you're now hearing for the fourth time]
coworker 14: HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN THIS FUNNY NEW MEME "BONGO CAT"
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coquelicoq · 1 year ago
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matoba has to feel so smug about this though. 1) oooh he WANTS me he NEEDS me he has to have me so bad that hes gotta come in here and make a scene about it and 2) hes just like me fr...
crashes ur board meeting n drags u out by the collar but its fine bc youre the one always saying shit like "im looking for people i can use" ok lol. get used idiot
#teen matoba trying to make like he's testing natori to see if natori will be useful to him#when ACTUALLY he's like oooh look at me shuuichi-san i'm sooo strong i'm stronger than you tee hee *twirls hair*#you can't protect anyone if you're not strong. you should be finding people who can make you stronger...HINT HINT#well it took him seven years but he finally internalized the lesson!#he's all growed up and abducting people to serve his own ends...senpai's proudest moment *sniffles*#homura cats arc#natsume's book of friends#f#horrible exorcists#maybe they didn't talk in the car after all because matoba was just radiating satisfaction so loudly#natori: shut up. matoba: i didn't say anything <3 [they narrowly avoid dying in a ditch when natori corners too hard]#natori: NOT A WORD. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO DRIVE AND YOU HAVE TERRIBLE DEPTH PERCEPTION.#matoba: again i am just sitting here /_^#famous heartthrob actor man being a cringefail loser in front of his secret rival is sth that can actually be so personal...#like let's review this day in the life of natori shuuichi‚ handsome idol‚ talented exorcist‚ head of his clan:#1) manhandles matoba in public in such a way that embarrasses only himself and not matoba#2) drives his car so badly that matoba later refuses his offer to hang out after work even though matoba is obsessed w him#3) is told to stay put and babysit while matoba and the teen natori brought him here to save#go do dangerous things that matoba deems him not strong enough for <3#4) is entrusted with natsume's precious heirloom slash WMD and almost loses it to HIS OWN MAGIC the total dumbass#but then! 5) he saves matoba! and after that! 6) he and matoba do their sexy joint spellcasting!!#then 7) everybody finds out he's 'pro-matoba' and 8) no one will let him drive them home in his car :(#he fully takes it on the chin the entire day long and it doesn't even really seem to phase him#he knew he was outmatched so he went to get matoba even though that was embarrassing. he did it anyway. no shame#matoba says stay behind you weakling and he does without arguing#he can't fight the puppet while also protecting sensei and the BOF so he's just like okay time to retreat#natori shuuichi has the most interesting ego of any fictional character ever perhaps#how does he do it? he wasn't born with it...it might be maybelline though. i can't rule it out#it's at least partially maybelline (where maybelline = deliberate and skilled shaping of other people's perceptions#through manipulation of external appearances...redirection via the artistry of artifice...et cetera)
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trolagygirl2022 · 2 months ago
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Your future spouse's favourite thing about you! PAC reading
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pick your image!
Pile 1: King of Pentacles, 5 of Swords, 4 of Pentacles, Page of Wands rev.
Ok so your future spouse is really going to like your bold and strong personality. The song that popped up in my head was "Boss B*tch" by Doja Cat. I see you having this cool aura and not letting people walk over you. You can come off as intimidating or strong but you do have a soft side to you :) I see your future spouse being really intrigued by your vibe. I'm also seeing money here, perhaps some of you have good jobs. You might have gone through some issues where you used to get walked over and people would treat you in a negative way. Now you're healing and you don't let negative people in your life. You're not arrogant or rude but you're willing to set boundaries for yourself. I see you guys having quite some confidence! What also popped up in my mind is a powerful lady wearing dark red. Like those vibes are heavily coming out in this reading!! A lot of powerful woman vibes! (You don't have to be a woman but I hope you're getting the vision that's popping up in my mind hehe).
Pile 2: The Magician, 6 of Cups, 9 of Swords, 8 of Pentacles, 7 of Swords, 2 of Wands.
Okay Pile two, I see your future spouse really liking your creative side! It seems that we have a lot of creatives here! From tarot to arts and craft, to singing and crocheting!! There's some activity that you're either really skilled at or just enjoy that your future spouse will find cute about you. It seems to be something you're quite passionate about and enjoy doing it. (Some of you guys might have even taken it as far as to do a little side hustle with it!). Your future spouse doesn't only see your craft but they also see your hardworking side and the amount of effort and precision that's put into this. I'll interpret the 7 of Swords as some of you that might have thought that you're not as good at whatever you do. I see some of you guys having little to no confidence. This doesn't have to do with your art work but also your self esteem in general, I see your future spouse heavily disagreeing with this because they'll love your personality and whatever you do!
Pile 3: 8 of Swords, Death rev, The Empress, The Devil, Ace of Swords, 6 of Swords.
Sooo pile 3, I see your future spouse being very interested in your appearance, especially your body 👀. It's not like in a creepy way that they're objectifying you or anything but I see them just really like your appearance and your features. Your energy reminds me of the The Empress card (I'm using the modern witch deck). She's confident in herself and her body. I see you guys having this sort of aura that pulls your future spouse in. They might find themselves feeling very drawn to you, almost like a spell ahahaha. Your future spouses might at first be attracted to this and this might lead them to want to know more about you and find themselves being a bit intimidated? Like when you're a bit intimidated around someone but you still want to get with them. Some of you guys might have partners from a different ethnicity/race/nationality. I see your partner really liking your culture and would try to learn a lot about it. Like they might try to learn your language and travel to your home place. For this pile your future spouse will put in a lot of effort to understand you 🥺.
Pile 4: The Tower, The Hermit, Page of Wands, 4 of Pentacles, 10 of Swords, Death.
This pile seems to be the shyiest of them all! Some of y'all might be naturally shy while the other side might have been sort of "bullied" into being introverted. There's a lot of heavy energy in this pile, a lot of you guys have a lot of heavy baggage that you're still suffering the effects of. The hermit tells me that a lot of you guys like to keep to yourselves and stay alone. You might not go out of wanting to connect with people because you're worried and scared about new connections. You close yourself out so you'll probably be quite hesitant when it comes to starting a new connection with your future spouse. I see them trying though even though you'll be a bit stubborn. They'll like it though, I see them wanting to chase you and do their best to get with you. They'll be intrigued by your mysterious presence and will want to know more about you! Not like they're trying to be nosey but they're just very curious about you!
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makeitmingi · 3 months ago
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Dream Come True
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Genre: Romance, Comedy, Cute Fluff
Pairing: San x Reader (y/n)
Characters: Mom!Reader, Dad!San, Daughter (Choi Haeun)
Summary: Your daughter has 8 best friends, also known as ANITEEZ. But her bestest friend, the one she doesn't go anywhere without is Sandeoki. So, after finding out the segment plans for ATEEZ's upcoming fanmeet, you and San decided to bring her for a little surprise.
Word count: 4.6K
[A/N: I know Sandeoki is a male but I followed the idea of San saying Sandeoki is a female and a princess.]
"Omma!"
"Yeah, baby? Why are you shouting?" You came to her bedroom to see her sitting in front of her stuffed toys with a pout on her face. The pout very much mirrored that of her father's. It was absolutely adorable, your daughter Choi Haeun was absolutely a princess.
"I can't find Sandeoki's cape. She has to wear it when we go or she'll get cold if she doesn't wear it." She whined. You giggled and came over, sitting next to her.
"I'm sure it's here, baby. We have time to find it. Let me help you, hmm?" You stroked her head.
"Sandeoki's coming with us to see appa and samchons?" You asked, even though you already knew the answer to that.
"Mhmm, I want to bring all of them but I can't." Haeun pouted. The 8 Aniteez plushes were her best friends. But Sandeoki was her 'bestest friend'. Sandeoki went everywhere with her.
You called it manipulation, San only putting Sandeoki in front of Haeun so she would take to her first.
Of course, he wouldn't allow Haeun to like another Aniteez character more than his own.
"It's okay, baby. I'm sure they understand. You and Sandeok can tell them all about it when you come back." You cooed. She grinned at your words and nodded her head excitedly. You finally found Sandeoki's cape nestled within the pile and even helped her put it on the purple cat.
"Here you go. Sandeoki is ready for the Ateez fanmeet concert." You presented Sandeoki to her and she let out a loud squeal, hugging the plush happily.
"Sandeoki! Thank you, omma!" She cheered.
"You're welcome, baby. Now, let's get ready to go see appa." You kissed her cheek and led her out to the bathroom.
"I'm excited to see appa!" She said as you helped her change into her outfit. Haeun, from the day she was born, was a daddy's girl. Rightfully so since she was San's precious princess.
"You like to watch appa sing and dance?" You pinched her cheek.
"And samchons!" She added. You nodded and looked at her finished outfit, feeling rather proud of yourself.
You had picked this outfit and put the pieces together. It was a surprise for San. You usually did well with styling your child up or putting together outfits that mimicked the stage outfits that Ateez would wear for their performances.
"Do you like it, baby?" You asked as she went to the mirror to look at herself.
"I love it! It's so pretty." She jumped up and down. Haeun also has the energy of her father. You checked the time and went to gather the last bits of Haeun's things before the car would come.
"Let's go, baby!" You called out. Haeun hurriedly ran over with Sandeoki in her arms.
The car that San sent was already waiting downstairs in the carpark. The driver came out and bowed, opening the door for you.
"Thank you." You smiled and Haeun copied you. You smiled proudly and stroked her head, helping her onto the seat. Of course San planned for everything, there was a booster seat for Haeun ready.
"Will appa be happy to see us?" Haeun asked a the driver drove.
"Of course he will, baby. You're his princess and I'm sure he will be very happy to see how pretty you look too." You tapped her cheek. She grinned and kicked her feet happily, hugging Sandeoki and swaying from left to right. Haeun was so full of life and always happy, truly San's daughter.
"Alright, baby. Remember the rules?" You turned to her as the van was pulling up to the security checks, which meant you were already near the venue.
"Always stay with omma, appa or samchons. Don't run or talk to strangers." She recited, having memorised it.
"Good. Now let's go find appa." You helped her down from the van. She immediately held your hand.
"Hello~ Nice to see you Haeun~" All the staff that recognised you and Haeun greeted you happily as you walked in. You bowed your head while Haeun gave shy waves to everyone.
"Manager nim." You called out to one of the Ateez managers that was waiting for you. Seeing a familiar face, Haeun ran forward.
"Samchon!" She giggled and the manager smiled, scooping Haeun up into his arms.
"Thanks for waiting for us and picking us." You thanked.
"No need to thank, (y/n). Here are your passes for the day. Did you dress Sandeoki up for the concert? You take such good care of her." Just like that, the two were wrapped up in their own conversation while you walked alongside them.
"We're here. You can knock." The manager encouraged. Haeun boldly knocked on the door and there were voices coming from inside before the manager opened it for her.
"Appa!" Haeun got down and ran over to her father.
"My princess." San stood up with a big smile and picked Haeun up, lifting her up into the air and hugging her tightly.
"And there's my queen." San chuckled, coming over to wrap his free arm around you and place a kiss on your crown. You hugged his waist and kissed his cheek.
"Appa, put me down so you can see my clothes." Haeun squirmed. San obediently put Haeun down.
"Did you... dress her up in my Crazy Form outfit?" San turned to you in surprise.
"Impressive, huh?" You nodded with raised eyebrows, knowing San was fangirling internally. He held his chest and you were actually afraid he may be having a heart attack.
"Breathe, Sannie. Breathe." You rubbed his back.
"You look so pretty, princess. Even better than appa. S-Someone get my phone, I need to take pictures. Where is my phone?!" San frantically searched his dressing table and bag. He retrieved his phone and took multiple pictures, you even snapped pictures of the father and daughter together.
"Finally, it's our turn for some princess time!" Yunho opened his arms to give Haeun a big hug. Haeun loved it, she was soaking up all the attention her uncles were giving her.
"Oh, my baby! Come here, I've missed you." Wooyoung showered Haeun in kisses, making her squeal out in laughter.
"Uncle Wooyo! Tickles!" Her giggles filled the entire dressing room, bringing a positive energy.
"Wanna go see the stage?" Seonghwa offered. Haeun's eyes lit up as she turned to you and San for approval. The both of you nodded her head and Haeun left with her uncles.
"The moment she comes, the other 7 follow her like she's the pied piper." San shook his head in disbelief.
"Don't act like you aren't the biggest fool for her." You slapped his chest.
"That's true. She's a mini you, how can I not spoil her and worship her? I'll proudly admit that I'm the biggest fools for my two girls." San slung his arm around your shoulder to pull you against him, pressing his forehead against your temple.
"What are you going to do when she gets a boyfriend, hmm?" You raised an eyebrow. San gave you a disgusted, offended look with a deep frown.
"How dare you. Take that back right now." He said seriously.
"I'm serious, Sannie. One day, she's going to meet a boy and bring him home to meet us." You shrugged.
"No, no boys. Never. Both her and Sandeoki, no. No boys. The only man Haeun needs is me. She's lucky I let the other Ateez members be close to her." San shook his head in disapproval.
"She'll hate you if you scare off a boy she likes." You giggled.
"I don't care. She can hate me. And it's not just me. What makes you think the other 7 will be okay with a boyfriend?" San asked.
"Imagining that in my head is funny but scary at the same time. I feel sorry for the boy she'll bring home." You chuckled, leaning against San while he rolled his eyes. He just wanted to be done with this topic of boys and future boyfriends for his dear princess.
"Think she'll like her surprise?" San murmured.
"Definitely. I think she'll be so shocked she wouldn't know what to do." You giggled.
One of the reasons you brought Haeun today was because one of the segments of the Ateez Fanmeet was the members dressing up as their Aniteez characters.
"Sandeoki is her bestest friend. Imagine her meeting a lifesize one, even though it's still my face." San said. You nodded with a hum.
"Can't wait." You could only imagine Haeun's reaction to seeing San dress up as Sandeoki.
"Well, say goodbye to your regular clothes because you know once she sees you in your Sandeoki costume, she'll never let you remove it, right?" You chuckled.
"She loves me more than Sandeoki." San said confidently.
"Someone sure is delusional." You raised your eyebrows and looked away, making San frown at you with a small pout. He pressed his face close to yours, invading your space to try to make you take back what you said. He refuses to be anything less than Haeun's number 1. Yes, that includes you.
"Take it back." San pouted, leaning over you until you were sandwiched between him and the couch. You laughed, hands coming up to squish his cheeks.
"She really has your pout." You said. He rolled his eyes and grasped your waist, moving you to sit on his lap.
"San! There are people around and the other guys could come back with Haeun soon." You scolded him as your cheeks heated up.
"It's fine." He waved you off, keeping his grip on you.
As you said, Haeun ran in, holding a bag of candy with her while Wooyoung held Sandeoki for her since her other hand was holding Yeosang's hand.
"All she wanted to do was see the stage. I didn't think all 7 of you would go." You giggled as they came in.
"Omma! Appa! An unnie gave me candy! Lookie! Lookie!" Haeun showed you while you bent down to her eye level to see.
"Wow, baby. Did you say thank you?" You stroked her head. She nodded obediently and you smiled, complimenting her. Haeun ran to show San the candies and Wooyoung handed you Sandeoki. She only trusted Wooyoung and San with Sandeoki.
"Okay, continue your hair and make up before we need to do the fan soundcheck." Hongjoong clapped. Luckily, San did his hair and makeup so he could stay with Haeun and you.
"I want to give samchons candy." Haeun said.
"But that means you'll only have one left, princess." San told her, holding her tiny hands in his bigger ones.
"Hmm... That's okay! Samchons don't have candy." She pouted after thinking about her poor uncles without candy. San proudly hugged her, kissing her cheek.
"Go on." He patted her bum to encourage her but he still kept his eyes on her while she went around.
"Uncle Jongho. Candy for you!" She went to him and placed a piece of candy on his thigh while he was getting his hair done.
"Thank you, princess. That's very kind of you." Jongho couldn't look down at her but he could reach out to pat her head. Giggling, she went around to give out the rest of the candy before finding her way back to you.
"Where's Sandeoki?" Haeun looked around, realising she didn't have her best friend with her.
"With appa." You pointed to San, who was speaking with the stylist, still protectively holding Haeun's Sandeoki with his arm. She ran over to retrieve the purple cat but San just picked her up.
"Appa, I came for Sandeoki." Haeun explained, holding her father's cheeks.
"It's okay, you and Sandeok can stay with me." San laughed. Haeun nodded, knowing she had to stay quiet while San discussed 'work' stuff.
"The fans are here for the soundcheck. Let's get ready." Hongjoong rounded everyone up for the final briefing. Haeun sat in Mingi's lap, participating and listening to Hongjoong.
"Bye, princess. We'll be back." The boys bid Haeun goodbye as they went out for the VIP soundcheck. The fans all greeted the Ateez members happily. The manager invited you and Haeun to watch from the side wings. You held Haeun in your arms, not wanting her to accidentally trip or be in the way.
"Can you see appa?" You asked. She nodded and pointed to her father, who was smiling and waving at the fans.
"Are we going to stay here?" Haeun looked at you.
"For a while, baby. After that, we can sit out there and watch appa and samchons." You explained. She grinned and hugged your neck, eyes trained on her father and uncles.
"Thank you, ATINY! We'll see you later!" The 8 boys waved to the fans and came backstage.
"My baby." Wooyoung declared and stole Haeun from you, kissing her cheeks as you all headed back. San held your hand.
"Wooyoung's always stealing her." San shook his head. You laughed, you were glad that all the boys doted on Haeun as if she was their own daughter.
"Okay, grab a quick bite if you're still hungry and get changed." Seonghwa said, helping round up the kids since Hongjoong was speaking to the stage director. Since everyone was rushing around, you sat with Haeun on one of the sofas and gave her some snacks.
"Are you sleepy, baby?" You asked, tucking her hair behind her ears as she munched on her snacks.
"Nope!" She shook her head, holding one of her biscuits out to you. You smiled and leaned in to eat it appreciatively. San came over, having changed into his stage outfit.
"Appa!" Haeun beamed.
"Mmm, my princess." San cooed. He wanted to hug her and carry her but he knew he couldn't wrinkle his stage clothes.
"We're going on stage soon. I can't walk you to your seats but I'll get one of the staff to bring you." San told you, leaning in to give you a quick peck.
"Sure, Sannie, don't worry about us. We'll be fine. Good luck." You smiled. He squeezed your hand.
"Good luck appa!" Haeun wished. San leaned in closer to her and tapped his cheek. Haeun willingly gave him a kiss on the cheek but that caused a chain reaction because 7 others queued up behind San to receive good luck cheek kisses from the princess. San shot everyone a flat look.
"Yah, she's mine!" He yelled in outrage when Yunho demanded a kiss on each cheek from Haeun. Of course, they all ignored San, as if he could stop all 7 of them.
"Bye, princess." Mingi patted her head.
"Let's go, baby. Get Sandeoki." You told her. She held the plush with her and held your hand.
"Bye~" She waved to everyone as the staff member brought you out. It was a shame that for safety reasons, you could only watch from far away, you couldn't risk being in the VIP mosh pits.
"How's that?" You asked as you sat her onto the booster seat that was placed on the chair for her so she could see the stage.
"I can see." She told you.
When the show started, you and Haeun had the time of your lives, it was an Ateez concert after all. But you were excited, anticipating the surprise part of the concert and her reaction. So when the lights darkened and the intro the Bouncy started, you held your breath.
"OMMA! IT'S ANITEEZ! It's Sandeoki!" Haeun's jaw dropped as she screamed loudly. You were glad the fans were screaming too or else they would have heard her.
"Yeah, baby!" You nodded, helping her stand in her seat as she jumped excitedly, seeing her friends.
"Sandeok ah!" She yelled. You took a video, feeling your heart melt as she was just starstruck, seeing her 8 best friends on stage.
"Sandeoki!" Haeun waved, trying to get Sandeoki's attention. You didn't have the heart to tell her that you were both so far away, San or Sandeoki couldn't see her.
"Omma, did you see?" She turned to you with the biggest grin you have ever seen.
"Yeah, baby." You giggled.
"I love them." She declared to you once the song ended and the fans were just screaming for the boys dressed as Aniteez. You nodded and helped her sit back down.
It was time for the boys to do their introductions as Aniteez, with their specially tuned mics that made their voices higher and more kid-like. Hongjoong or Jjoongrami was the first one to go, waiting for the fans screams to die down a little before he could start. He sat on the ground, bouncing before he fell over.
"Oh no." You shook your head as you laughed at them. Seonghwa and San went to help him up, you knew that tail on Jjoongrami's costume must have been heavy.
"Ah!" But down went Seonghwa and San. Then the other boys stacked themselves on top.
"No!" Haeun reacted with a gasp. You assumed it was just a normal reaction until you turned your head to see her absolutely shattered.
"Sandeoki...?" Her bottom lip quivered as she watched in horror as San was squished at the bottom of the Aniteez pile by the others. Her Sandeoki even fell from her arms but you quickly caught it.
"Sandeoki!" Haeun burst out into tears, wailing as loud as ever.
"Hey, hey. It's okay, baby." You immediately picked her up, still shocked by her reaction.
"Shh, shh. Baby, they're just playing. Sandeoki is okay. Nothing happened to her." You told her but Haeun was inconsolable, firming believeing that her Sandeoki was hurt. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she cried for Sandeoki.
"Okay, let's get some air." Struggling slightly to gather your stuff with your free hand, you carried Haeun out of there. You didn't want her wailing to disturb the other fans.
"Alright, alright." You patted her back, swaying to calm her down. You brought her back to the backstage area.
"What's wrong? Did something happen?" The Ateez managers ran over worriedly.
"Everything's fine. She just saw Sandeoki fall and end up at the bottom of the pile but I told her Sandeoki's not hurt." You explained over Haeun's crying.
"Aww. Omma is right, princess. Sandeoki is okay. You'll see her soon." The managers all cooed and comforted her.
"Princess." You sighed in relief when you saw San, Hongjoong, Yunho and Jongho appear at the door.
"Baby, look who it is. See? They're okay." You pointed to the door and wiped her tears. The 4, especially San, were just as shocked to see Haeun so upset and crying. Of course, they expected her to be happy and excited to meet them in their Aniteez costumes. However, seeing Sandeoki, Haeun burst into another round of tears.
"What's wrong, princess?" San came over with a frown. You forced a smile as the manager helped you explain to the members what happened since you were trying to calm Haeun down.
"You guys get changed first. I'll settle her." San said and the 3 other Ateez members nodded.
"Princess Haeun?" San came over. Even though San's face wsa shown, Haeun didn't even register her dad as Sandeoki.
"You are such a good friend. But I'm okay, I'm not hurt." Although it was a struggle, San managed to carry Haeun into his arms. You reached over to wipe her tears and nose.
"Sandeoki?" She sniffled.
"Hello, Haeun. It's nice to meet you." San leaned his head down to let Haeun pat his head.
"You okay?" She asked. San nodded and used Sandeoki's cheek to nuzzle against Haeun, making her laugh. He put her down since he didn't want the giant costume head to hit her and Haeun hugged Sandeoki's leg tightly.
"I love you, Sandeoki." Haeun buried her face against Sandeoki's purple fur. Everyone in the room melted at her words. You knew San was trying his best to just explode.
"I love you too, Haeunnie. Thank you for being my bestest friend." San stroked her head.
"I'm your bestest friend?" Haeun looked up.
"Yes, of course." San chuckled. Haeun looked at you with excitement before she squealed and hugged San again. With Haeun calm, she bid goodbye to Sandeoki, who went behind the curtain to change.
"Go, we're okay." You said to San, who winked at you and ran back to stage while the other 4 Aniteez members came back in.
"Hi." Haeun shyly waved to them.
Hopefully it seemed like Haeun wasn't too scarred by what happened as Bbyongming and Wooyonyang chased after her playfully for a bit and ran around with her.
"Baby, shall we go finish the concert?" You held out her own Sandeoki to her. Haeun gave Sandeoki a big hug, stroking her ears. Reaching up to hold your hand, you led her back to your seats to finish the rest of the Ateez concert. And thankfully, there were no more Haeun meltdowns.
"Thank you, ATINY!" The boys all waved and Haeun waved excitedly before leaving with you.
"Are we going to see appa and samchons now?" She asked. You nodded and went to the waiting room with her. Haeun sat in your lap, yawning and rubbing her eyes.
"Are you sleepy, baby?" You asked. She nodded, burying her face against your chest. You rubbed her back.
"But I wanna wait for appa~" She whined but was interrupted by another yawn.
"Okay." You stroked her head, you knew the boys wouldn't come in so fast. There were usually VIPs that came backstage for photos and a debriefing session after performances.
"Is she asleep?" You asked a staff since you couldn't see Haeun's face with the way she was leaning against your front.
"Yeah, she is." The staff member replied with a small smile. Grabbing one of the throw blankets, she unfolded it and draped it over Haeun. You smiled gratefully and mouthed a 'thank you' before she left so she wouldn't disturb Haeun.
"Would you like to go to one of the other smaller rooms? It'll be quieter." One of the hairstylists came over to you, an adoring smile on his face as he looked at Haeun.
"No need, thank you. She doesn't seem bothered by the noise." You giggled. He chuckled and went to pack up.
"You must have been tired, hmm?" You whispered, kissing Haeun's head as she rested against you.
"Good job everybody!" The 8 loud boys yelled as they entered.
"SHHH!" All the staff shushed the boys with angry looks, making the 8 jump in shock and huddle together like scared puppies. You couldn't help but laugh, their relationship was truly special.
"Haeun is sleeping!" One of the managers whispered harshly. You were touched that they really all cared about Haeun sleeping.
"Awwww, poor princess. This is way past her bedtime." San came over with a small frown as he took in Haeun sleeping soundly in your arms. You smiled and lifted a hand to wave at him. That made San smile as he leaned over to give you a kiss, being careful not to disturb Haeun. He gently stroked her head.
"Let me quickly change then we'll go home. Get the princess to bed." He told you.
"Take your time. Good job, everyone. We had a great time." You said to the other boys. They all smiled and thanked you before going to change out of their stage outfits.
"Let me carry her." San offered.
"It's okay, San. You were working the whole day, you must be tired." You shook your head.
"Don't worry about it. I'm never too tired for my princess." San insisted, reaching over to carry Haeun. She stirred for a bit, making the two of you freeze.
"Shh..." You patted her back and she relaxed in San's arms again. You let out a sigh of relief and went to hug the boys.
"Get home safe." Hongjoong patted your head. You and San waved before leaving.
Luckily San had called a cab earlier to take all 3 of you home. Since the managers had to send the others home, you were worried about having San and a sleeping Haeun with you. You didn't know if you would be harassed by fans trying to get a picture of your family.
"I didn't think Haeun would cry." San chuckled, leaning against the headrest as he looked at you.
"She was crying for Sandeoki. I'm not sure if she knows the concept of death or what it is but she sure knows what is it like to be hurt. And to her, Sandeoki was hurt." You giggled.
"I thought bringing her would make her dreams come true, not make her cry. If only I didn't trip over Seonghwa hyung..." He sighed.
"You did make her happy, Sannie. She was so happy when you guys came out on stage." You cupped his cheek.
"Now I hope I didn't traumatise her for life." He shook his head.
"I'm sure she's fine. She was over to moon, getting to hug Sandeoki and meet her backstage. Plus she played with the others too." You assured him and San leaned into your touch with a small smile.
"She was so cute though. Please tell me you took pictures or a video." San said.
"Of course I did. One day, she'll be so grateful for all that you do for her. You're the best dad ever." You smiled softly.
"Well, I can only do it with the best mom and wife." San complimented back. When the car stopped, you all got out and headed up to your family home. Even though he was busy working and performing, San still helped you with Haeun. You both wiped her body with a wet cloth and changed her clothes.
"She'll have to shower tomorrow morning then. Luckily I showered her once before leaving the house." You said, putting the clothes in the laundry while San helped you unpack Haeun's bag.
"You can shower first, Sannie." You told him.
"Thanks, baby. Let me go return Sandeoki first." San held the purple cat and quietly entered Haeun's room.
"Thank you for always taking care of her." San stroked Sandeoki's head before tucking her under Haeun's arm, who automatically snuggled against Sandeoki.
"Goodnight, princess." San kissed Haeun's head before leaving. He went to shower while you made San a late night snack.
"Baby, I'm done." San came out after his shower, rubbing his wet hair with a towel.
"Alright, I'll go shower. I made you kimchi udon, you're always hungry after a concert because you don't eat dinner." You said. He nodded, you knew him so well. You tip toed to give him a kiss before going to the bathroom to take a shower.
When you came out of the bathroom, San was laying in bed, fast asleep with his phone in his hand. You went out to see the lights off, table cleared and dishes done.
"You must have been tired." You repeated the words you said to Haeun, taking San's phone and putting it to charge on his nightstand.
"Mmm, baby...?" San woke up when he felt your hand brush against his.
"Rest, Sannie." You said, climbing into bed.
"Hug me." San opened his arms. You laughed and scooted close to him, letting his arms wrap around you. He laid against your chest, your heartbeat always able to lull him to sleep.
"Thank you for working so hard for us." You whispered, pressing your cheek against his head.
"Anything for my queen and my princess." He mumbled.
~
Masterlist
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miyukisu · 2 months ago
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Freak Like Me .ᐟ kinktober ‘24 masterlist inspired by doja cat ❤︎ ╰ incl. kaiju no. 8, jujutsu kaisen, blue lock, bungo stray dogs, haikyuu
a/n - All works are p*rn with plot and written with afab! reader. Read the tags before proceeding with each fic just in case there's a trope included that you're not comfortable with. Masterlist will be updated throughout the month.
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1 | On Camera - Cybersex ╰ Now Playing: Cybersex
❤︎ Narumi Gen (Kn8) x reader ╰ You just love teasing your best friend—even better now that he's frustrated and can only see you through a screen (2.1k wc)
2 | I Might Bite - Punishment ╰ Now Playing: Won't Bite
❤︎ Hoshina Soshiro (Kn8) x reader ╰ Resorting to dirty measures like biting your superior during sparring usually doesn't end without you having a taste of your own medicine... (2.6k wc)
3 | Talk Like That - Degradation ╰ Now Playing: Talk Dirty
❤︎ Hiromi Higuruma (JJK) x reader ╰ Who would have thought that your quiet and stoic boss had such a dirty side to him? (2.7 wc)
4 | There Ain't No Man Like You - Shower Sex ╰ Now Playing: Streets
❤︎ Toji Fushiguro (JJK) x reader ╰ People normally talk it out when they have a feud with someone, but you two? You decide to bury the hatchet by showering together (2.2k wc)
5 | Took Me For a Ride - Cockwarming ╰ Now Playing: Ride
❤︎ Geto Suguru (JJK) x reader ╰ It's raining pretty hard outside—good thing there are more ways than one when it comes to warming yourselves up... (1.6k wc)
6 | Between Me and You - Exhibitionism ╰ Now Playing: Often
❤︎ Michael Kaiser (Bllk) x reader ╰ While your other friends are enjoying themselves on your little camping trip, you and Kaiser were secretly fucking around (3k wc)
7 | If You're Down, Boy - Hate Sex ╰ Now Playing: Go To Town
❤︎ Karasu Tabito (Bllk) x reader ╰ Karasu thinks you've got quite a mouth on you—time for him to show you what he can do with his too and make you shut up (3k wc)
8 | Breakfast in Bed - Somnophilia ╰ Now Playing: Morning Light
❤︎ Sae Itoshi (Bllk) x reader ╰ Trouble in paradise? Well, Sae has an early morning treat for you to fix that (2.5k wc)
9 | Need Your Lips On Mine - Edging ╰ Now Playing: Kiss Me More
❤︎ Dazai Osamu (BSD) x reader ╰ You'd think he'd be more enthusiastic to get his hands on you because of the whole 'secret relationship' thing, but maybe it's time to turn the tables (2.3k wc)
10 | Better Bite the Bullet - First Times ╰ Now Playing: Gun
❤︎ Iwaizumi Hajme (Hq) x reader ╰ He's just trying to be a good best friend by teaching you a useful skill in life... blowjobs (2k wc)
©miyukisu do not repost/reupload/translate any of my works on other platforms
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csainzoperator · 1 year ago
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baby : CL16 ☆
summary: y/n horner has dropped a new single. its a sexy and fun song. but y/n had broken up 4 years ago, and since then there was one superhit album with a sad and shady vibe. new year, new y/n? or new man? let's find out.
(charles leclerc × singer!reader)
trigger warnings: sexual intendos, typos (tried my best to not make any)
face claim: barbara palvin
read more under the cut!
y/nusername has posted!
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hi, lovers. i know its been quite a while since you've heard from me but hey! i'm back and my single "baby" is dropping on friday, 8/12/23. stay tuned for more updates. love you all always, i thank each one of you as i wouldn't be here if it weren't for you guys 💋
liked by taylorswift, landonorris, charles_leclerc and 928,712,821 others
christianhorner proud of you, darling ❤️
- gerihalliwellhorner WE are proud of you (the spice girl inside me is squeaking)
landonorris GO BESTIE
- y/nusername ILY DUMBASS
carlossainz55 all the drivers can't wait for this! (we all are disgusted on the inside)
- y/nusername 🤭🤭
- estiebestieee GIRL WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
- y/nloverrr stop....DOES THAT MEAN THE DRIVERS HAVE HEARD THE SONG ALREADY
- pierregasly 🤐
y/nfann YOU LOOK SO PRETTY
paddockclubb y'all wondering if the drivers have heard the song when i'm out here questioning reality cos CHARLES LECLERC HAS LIKED THIS POST.
it was the end of season lunch and you were kind of nervous as you would finally be telling your parents about charles and you. your friends were thrilled but you just didn't know how your father would react.
the heavenly creatures and godly people had given you a blessing. BECAUSE NO WAY IN HELL YOUR FATHER KNEW ABOUT IT ALL ALONG?
"you aren't letting him in on any red bull secrets now, are you?" your father questioned you. and you replied right back, with mock seriousness. "you mean have i told him how max cuddles his cats and how checo never stops talking about mexican food? yes dad i've kept that a secret." your boyfriend lets out a chuckle as you finish your sentence, squeezing your thigh below the table.
"aww maxie you're a softie at heart" lando teases him as max glares at you playfully. the brunch was a success and you just couldn't wait to get back to the hotel with charles because, oh dear lord. he looked absolutely ravishing. divine. sublime even. and he knew what was on your mind, the way his hands kept brushing yours, his soft kisses when no one was looking. you felt it all.
y/nusername has posted!
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fancy hotel but this is how we showed up 🤞🏼 liked by christianhorner, charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 99,827 others.
landonorris oooh who's that hot man
- y/nusername carlossainz55 come get your child
- carlossainz55 my apologies
- carlaaaando EXACTLY WHO IS THAT MAN
charles_leclerc 🌟
y/nusername has liked this comment
- f1wags WTF ARE Y'ALL SEEING THIS.
- estiebestiee if y/n and charles are a thing. I'M NOT READY FOR THIS 🖐🏼
y/nloverr OK BUT THE UPGRADE THO. from that trash guy 4 years ago to charles mfkin leclerc 🙏🏼
it was the big day. your single was about to drop today and your boyfriend was lying down on your lap, telling you how he would LOVE to tell the world that the song was about him. you agreed, it was about him. he slowly got up and wrapped his arms around your waist, letting his hands slip under your shirt.
"aren't we getting cheeky now, mr leclerc?" you teased. "oh we are just getting started, baby" he mumbles as he kisses down your neck. and just like that, he made your big day much more special by his, let's say, needy touches.
y/nusername has posted!
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"baby" out now on all platforms! enjoy streaming. sending kisses 💋 liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, lewishamilton and 288,718,123 others.
y/nfannn "baby, baby, do i taste like candy, sugarcoated he says i'm the most sweet" UM GUYS????? I'M NOT OK 🖐🏼
landonorris great song ig 🙄
- y/nusername oh cmon we all know you love it
lewishamilton great job, sis. got a sick beat 🖤
y/nusername has liked this comment
f1wags GUYS. I'M 100% SURE THAT'S CHARLES' BACK.
- carlandooo RAH STOP I'M WEAK IN MY KNEES RN
y/nloverrr "i'm a handful but, that's what hands are for. pin me to the floor, treat it like its yours" SCREAMING YELLING KICKING MY FEET IN THE AIR GN. she ate that up 🙏🏼
charles_leclerc 🤭
charles_leclerc has posted!
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"baby" is ab me. y'all can cry now 🤭 liked by y/nusername, arthur_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 287,112,123 others.
y/nusername i love you, baby.
- charles_leclerc NAH. i love you more.
- y/nusername shut up, i will kill every person who says against me, i love you more.
- charles_leclerc wow look at you making me all scared AND getting me horny at the same time.
landonorris UM. I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT.
pierregasly THERE ARE KIDS ON THIS APP.
maxverstappen1 why y'all acting like we didn't know since ages. anyways. *pretends to be shook* CONGRATS GUYS!
y/nleclercfan PARENTS 🤞🏼
lechairrr y/n basically told us how good charles is in bed by her song 😭
f1wags HAH. I KNEW IT. I SAW IT COMING BUT I'M STILL SO SHOOK RN?????
scuderiaferrari red looks good on you guys ❤️
the end ♡
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someprettyname · 3 months ago
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BLLK BOYS MEETING YOUR PARENTS FOR THE FIRST TIME (HCs ver.)
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characters included : Isagi Yoichi, Bachira Meguru, Shidou Ryusei, Barou Shoei, Chigiri Ryusei, Reo Mikage, Yukimiya Kenyu
a/n : has this been done already? I've been wanting to do for quite a time now I finally got over my laziness :] here's my vision for it y'all, I hope you enjoy :]
total word count : 1.5k (😱)
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Lets start with the ultimate green flag best boy totally not because I'm whipped :D
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1) He's a well cultured man who grew up in a healthy family, so that says a lot. 
2) have you seen how he used to put together chigiri's carekit, assemble the laundry, and wake nagi up? 
3) yeah. 
4) he's good at formalities and keeping a harmony in his environments. Thank his Fe aux and the fact that he's INFJ, but he KNOWS (by default) how to behave in a social setting really well. That just comes naturally to him. 
5) so of course he'd dress well, wear a kind smile and bring along gifts. 
6) your parents - no matter how "conservative" and against the idea of you having a boyfriend/love marriage they are - would be DELIGHTED. He's a good player, stable in career, good looking, rich, well behaved. Damn. You really bagged the perfect guy. They can't say anything even if they WANT to. 
7) and it's not like they can deny the way he looks at you. 
8) Any normal parent would approve of him SO QUICK. SO QUICK, MATE. SO QUICK. 
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1) Sweet sweet fluff ball he is. 
2) he's goofy most of the times, but of course you matter to him so much. So he would tame himself. 
3) and everything goes smoothly from there 😙
4) no questionable outfit, well behaved and polite. He took tips from Isagi afterall :3 (and isagi has a PRETTY GOOD social awareness) 
5) extra plus points if you have younger siblings or cousins OR a pet. No explanation needed there. He'd get along with them really well :] 
6) would offer to help your mom in the kitchen (i mean, he had a single mom afterall, man knows nothing but respect for mother) and insist on it - that's where he won your mom over by the way :) <3 
7) now there can be two cases - either you have a black cat energy or are an introvert, in which case your parents would be relieved you finally found someone who can bring you out of your shell 
8) or you're an extrovert or have golden retriever energy - in which case your parents might internally sigh thinking of all the chaos you both might stir up (even if you both are pretty tamed in front of them) but they can't help adore you both >.<
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1) .....
2) yeah
3) good luck. 
(on a serious note though, if you're dating him you're more likely to be a sweet, introverted girl. So your parents would be happy that you found someone who can bring you out of your shell pt 2. Though his wilder, more violent side can be.... concerning, hopefully, he tames himself up for you atleast a little bit. That'd probably be easy given how much of a calming effect you have on him :3) 
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1) See. you need to understand my vision here. Barou off field is a guy you'd 100% want to date okay? 
2) he's the brother of 2 younger sister, hopefully (unlike my elder brother 🥰) he KNOWS how to treat women. Okay? 
3) I mean, did you see how he treated her mother when she was pregnant on the light novel? Chef kiss. He's definitely a green flag guy okay? 
4) if you've hung out with enough guys (which I'm pretty sure you have) you'd know how nasty a boy to boy only conversation can get. How they so disgustingly objectify women. Yeah. Uh huh. Barou's the kind of guy who'd NOT hesitate to step in and stop that bullshit whenever discussions with his male friends go in that direction. You get my vision now? 
5) he's definitely a family man who RESPECTS his family. He's a guy who you'd want to take back to your mama's (or dada's but that'd spoil my lyrics reference) house ygwim ;) 
6) if you have a traditional family, congrats. You bagged yourself THE perfect man your parents could've imagined. They are proud of you 😂❤️
7) look. I see the dad to boyfriend rapid fire round as something REALLY important (considering your dad isn't a red flag and is not trying to sabotage your happiness 🙏🏻) because ONLY MEN know how nasty other men can get and what they need to protect their daughters from. And Barou? Honey he is PASSING THAT RAPID FIRE ROUND WITH FLYING COLOURS!!!!
8) a supposedly good looking rich guy (who bought them *cough* some real expensive *cough* gift when he came over dinner) who knows what he's doing? Pass. 
9) I'm sure your parents would notice how his eyes soften in the slightest everytime he looks at you and that'd be enough to tell them how he's whipped for you (no matter how firm he's on the outside) and you've found yourself the right guy ;) 
10) (plus the sight of him walking out of his black and red sports with the bouquet of flowers was a SIGHT. TO. BEHOLD. Barou is a classy man afterall.) 
11) yay! WOOP WOOP 🎉
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1) He has a older sister, that should be your first cue ;) 
2) he's handsome okay? LIKE ONE OF THE PRETTIEST, MOST HANDSOME GUY YOUR PARENTS WOULD EVER MEET. 
3) He'd enter the room and it'd be LIT UP by his beauty. He's AMAZING. Your parents would be BLOWN away. They just can't help it. (So blown away that they accidentally forget the part where they had to question his hair length xD) 
4) of course they have seen him on TV and googled him but seeing him in real life was a while different thing. Can you imagine the scene? You see my vision? 
5) imagine him walking in in a white button up, his hair neatly done and muscles straining through his shirt as he holds the rose bouquet in his hands gracefully. Plus he smells good. 
6) yeah. 
7) (even you'd be blown away, what's your parents anyways 😔) AND THEN THEY REALISE THAT HE IS A GREEN FLAG AND RICH TOO? 
8) woman. 🤨 Don't embarass them. Why aren't you both married already? 🤨
9) If it's over at yours (as opposed to a formal setting like a restaurant) that the dinner is planned, he's definitely offering help to your mom :D 
10) and of course your father would know he's a gentleman too, so he's another guy who'd get approved real quick 😌↕️
11) (he bought your mom jewellery, haircare & skincare stuff over others afterall, how can she NOT?! She's CHARMED by her son-in-law. Not to be son-in-law. In her mind you're both married already 🥰) 
12) be ready to bear with your parents getting insufferable about deciding marriage dates and who all to call in your wedding after he has left :3
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1) 😂
2) 😂😂😂
3) Woman. If you are a Reo girlie, why are you even reading this? 😂
4) i mean, no offence but it's actually surprising you have doubts about him impressing your parents 😂
5) he's THE Mikage heir. The dream son-in-law of everyone in the nation 😂 
6) until and unless you are the daughter/heiress of an equally famous and rich company, your parents would be questioning how YOU bagged HIM. That says a lot 😂
7) He's a man of culture. He KNOWS how to impress people. How knows how to tilt everything in his favour AND he's charming. You see how much of a deadly combo that is when it comes to convincing your parents? 
8) even if your parents are HELLBENT on not approving him, he'd know how to convince, do you worry even a bit sweetheart. 
9) he's not here to get approved, he's here to finalise the marriage dates /j 
10) And even though he KNOWS he doesn't really need to do much to convince your parents given his place in social hierarchy and all that money, looks, power - he's humble. He RESPECTS and TREASURERS you. He'd do everything to make sure he's WINNING the heart of your parents by the end of the night ^_^ 
that there is no scope of doubt. He gotta get what he wants afterall. 
11) Dressing up well, looking and smelling good, the many gifts, behaving politely, offering help, striking up an interesting conversation and keeping up with anything thrown at him, flattering your parents - he's got it all up his sleeve. 
12) all you gotta do is sit back and watch your parents get ENCHANTED under his charming spells :3
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1) Another green flag when it comes to dating. He's a Fe user too isn't he? 
2) one of my moots posted about her mother giving him the highest rating among the other blue lock guys so...yeah. That says a lot doesn't it? 
3) he'd pass the vibe check of your mom SO QUICK as if it's a light breeze :3 
4) your mom would have her eyes 👀 on him. He's a son-in-law material afterall + he definitely 100% offered to help her in the kitchen :3
5) a good looking, well behaved rich guy who respects you? Chef kiss. 
6) pass pass passsssss
7) he'd answer all the questions your dad poses at him SO WELL (and so smartly and confidently) so he's impressing your dad before the dinner ends as well 😌↕️
8) as long as your dad isn't a red flag (which many dads are unfortunately) he'd SPECIALLY love him 👍🏻 just a feeling :3
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That's it for today ladies and gentlemen. Adios. 🙇🏻‍♀️
[ divider credits to @plusmio hehe you have the BEST dividers fr ]
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